ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) and Internal Family Systems (IFS) share an important idea about how we relate to ourselves. Both approaches suggest that you are more than your thoughts, emotions, or past experiences. Instead of being defined by these inner experiences, you can learn to notice them from a grounded, present-moment perspective.
ACT calls this perspective “self as context.” It means being able to step back and observe what’s happening inside you—your thoughts, feelings, and body sensations—without being overwhelmed by them. From this place, you are not the problem; you are the one noticing the problem. This is different from being caught in “self as content,” where identity becomes shaped by labels, stories, or beliefs like “I’m broken,” “I’m anxious,” or “This is just who I am.”
When you can access this observing self, it becomes easier to respond with flexibility rather than reacting automatically. ACT refers to this ability as psychological flexibility—the capacity to move away from rigid patterns like fighting your thoughts or avoiding uncomfortable feelings, and instead gently turn toward your present experience with openness.
IFS describes this same idea as Self—a calm, compassionate, and curious presence that exists within everyone. From Self, you can notice different “parts” of you, such as anxious parts, critical parts, or parts shaped by past experiences. These parts are not flaws; they developed to protect you. With support, you can learn to observe them rather than feeling taken over by them.
Both ACT and IFS help create space between you and your inner experiences. In ACT, practices like mindfulness and “defusing” from thoughts help you see thoughts as thoughts, not facts. In IFS, this is called unblending—recognizing that a part of you is anxious, rather than believing that you are anxiety. When there is space, new responses become possible.
When it comes to anxiety or painful memories, ACT introduces a concept called creative hopelessness. This doesn’t mean giving up—it means honestly noticing that the ways you’ve tried to manage anxiety (such as avoiding situations, suppressing feelings, or trying to control your thoughts) haven’t actually brought lasting relief. While avoiding discomfort makes sense, over time it can shrink your life.
IFS approaches this same process by getting to know the anxious parts of you more deeply. Instead of pushing them away, you become curious about what they’re afraid of and what they believe they need to do to keep you safe. Often, these parts carry beliefs like “I can’t handle this” or “I have to avoid this to be okay.” With compassion, we explore whether these beliefs are still true—and what life might look like if those parts didn’t have to work so hard.
Both approaches gently encourage moving toward fear rather than away from it, at a pace that feels safe. This can feel counterintuitive, but research and clinical experience show that approaching difficult experiences with curiosity and support allows your nervous system to learn that you are more capable than you once believed.
At the heart of both ACT and IFS is the same message:You are not broken. There is a steady, wise part of you that can relate to pain in new ways, opening the door to greater freedom, resilience, and choice.
